Saturday, 10 May 2014

Things Parents say

Okay! First of all, I am Indian and my experience has only taught me what INDIAN parents will say to certain (may be ALL) situations. If, in case, you don't already know about our Amazing culture and history (that we all find loopholes in to support out so-called modern life), let me tell you. IT IS HUGE and slightly TEDIOUS. Anyway, Parents being parents will say things that will leave you speechless. And when it's about Indian parents, You can expect anything that will brutally murder your belief in..... many things actually.

1. Who will marry you?

Okay, soooo... Well, whatever! I don't spend my days planning who will marry me and who won't. And why do they say that, you may ask! If you thought that the round ROTI scenario was just a scene on Bend it like Beckham memes, you're mistaken. Moms do say that. Apparently, men want rotis round, their parents want clothes clean and long, their pets want baths and their neighbors want gossip and what not. For men it is worse, BE the BREADWINNERS. Why can't parents find women who don't need supporting, coz such women do exist. HULLLOOOO!!!

2. No heels!!!!
I don't know if your parents give you a hard time about that one or not, but mine sure do and the parents of about 50 other women I know (Yes, no use hiding that age, Girlfriend, YOU ARE NOT A GIRL ANYMORE). And if you ask why? Here's why: You'll trip and break your neck (I trip more often in Flats, really), your ass will grow bigger (and your point isssss???), You'll get bone problems (Ummm, no I won't). Lemme get this straight, parents will find a way of criminalising your poor 5 inches for almost everything that happens to you.

3. Why it no have any Sleeves?

Okay so I was at this store the other day and this girl came there with her parents and the mother asked the sales person to show them a SLEEVELESS blouse. The blouse was shown and chosen and the colour loved and then tried. The mother went, "Aren't the sleeves a little too...... absent?" *POKERFACE*
Indian Parents will, sometimes in your life, have a problem with your clothing. I have been lucky that my folks don't mind what I wear as long as it is age and place appropriate but well, there is a joke every now and then how the skirts are too short and the blouses to slinky and.... Okay, you got the picture!!

4. The '4 LOG' (meaning, 4 people)

Indian parents have a HUGE ghost following them everywhere. Those Bloody FOUR PEOPLE who shadow looms larger than the sky over everything you do. You wear something they don't approve of, '4 log kya kahenge' (what will the 4 people say). You eat like a monster at a family dinner and '4 log kya kahenge'. Your pictures from a club are seen at home and '4 log kya kahenge'. Your bf, who everyone in the family knows about, sends you a gift and.... you get the picture, I guess. Talk about exploiting a metaphor!!!!

5. You don't eat anything.

Apparently, unless you put on 5 kilos every week, your parents will never find you healthy enough. You could have grown 5 sizes in terms of clothes and you will still be WEAK. Apparently, the family friend's obese daughter who is secretly jealous that you can eat all the Butter Chicken that you do and still not gain weight, is healthy even if she gets heart problems in the next 10 years while you're still killing it on the trampoline. Yeah, Baby!!!

6. Put the seat UP.
This one comes right from my friend's mother-in-law (who, fortunately, is not gonna see this).While the whole world is busy trying to teach men to put the seat down, some Indian households are busy trying to teach their family to do the opposite. And why? Because, I believe, they have Trust issues. *wink wink* You can't trust men to shoot straight, can you? Apparently not!!

7. Who's that Guy?

While most parents, in most places, are busy trying to spy on their daughters' FEMALE friends, Indian parents have come to terms with Homosexuality and are completely at ease with, in fact forceful of, their daughters hanging out with girls all the time and the sons with the boys. But just in case, they see you with a person from the opposite sex, there come up issues about the 4 'log', the 'rishtedaar' and the neighbourhood aunty who is so keen on getting you married off that her own children feel neglected sometimes!

If you have any such THINGS PARENTS SAY, specially if you're not Indian, do share them with us!

See ya later, Lovers!

PS, This is a light hearted post so please don't take it too seriously. We all love our parents. Also, the pictures are from Google, I don't know the basic sources.

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